Unsubstantiated claims are one of the seven deadly sins of proposal readability. Also known as a “motherhood statement”, an unsubstantiated claim is any claim that is not immediately backed up with facts.

These facts need to be relevant to the prospect, and to the decision you are asking them to make.

Prospects see unsubstantiated claims as wishful thinking; something you hope is true, but actually isn’t. Many proposals are riddled with them. Here is an unfortunately all-too-common example. The unsubstantiated claims are highlighted in bold.

XYZ Road Maintenance is Australia’s leading provider of road cleaning equipment to municipal authorities and private cleaning contractors.

Our highly experienced, results-driven research and development team has drawn on world’s best practice to develop our Road Maintenance Widgets, which are considered the most reliable on the market today.

Unsubstantiated claims often crop up in a proposal not because they aren’t true, but because of the writer’s desire to summarise. This is one time when less definitely isn’t more. Any time you make a claim, immediately back it up with facts. Challenge every claim you make.

• Why are we the leaders (or the most experienced, or have the most reliable product)?

• How does this benefit our customers?

Take part of the earlier example - “our Road Maintenance Widgets…are considered the most reliable on the market today.” Here is a better way to persuade a prospect that this claim is grounded in fact.

XYZ has such confidence in the reliability of our Road Maintenance Widgets that we offer a ten-year guarantee on their operational performance, double that of most other widget suppliers.

Customers of our widget include almost half of Australia's municipal authorities and eight of the country’s top 10 private cleaning contractors.

Broken Hill City Council saved $50,000 on its annual road maintenance bill by using our widgets and private contractor Alphabet Cleaning Services has more than doubled the useful life of its existing road maintenance vehicles by replacing Acme widgets with ours.

If you want someone to sign on the dotted line of a multi-million dollar deal, your pitch can’t give them any reasons not to do so.

Substantiating your claims is the easiest way to overcome potential objections and leave the prospect in no doubt as to why they should choose you.

Robyn Haydon, Principal Consultant of Winning Words, is a proposal strategist and writer and the author of The Shredder Test – the Australian guide to writing winning proposals. 

Contact Robyn Haydon on:

Office (03) 9557 4585
E-mail robyn@winningwords.com.au  

www.winningwords.com.au