Always keen to absorb more on the subject of pitching, I once bought an e-book that offered to deliver more than 1000 “sensational selling words”. From the moment it loaded I could see this was a questionable claim. My eyes watered as I skimmed the list, from ‘a cut above’ and ‘a child could do it’ to ‘works in minutes’ and ‘without lifting a finger’. I couldn’t imagine using any of these expressions.

Such hyperbole may work in the land of hard-sell (think steak knives and magnetic underlays) but it certainly doesn’t work with business buyers.

Of course not, I hear you say – to tell a buyer that ‘a child could do it’ would be quite insulting. But unfortunately, in a quest to be polite to buyers, suppliers often do use words and phrases that are damaging to their own case – often without even realising they’re doing it.

Ever heard the expression ‘coulda, woulda, shoulda’? It’s a taunt that implies you’re all talk and no action. No one wants a prospect to draw that conclusion about them. Yet that’s just what prospects tend to do whenever we use conditional words in a pitch.

For example, I think ‘should’ is one of the least helpful words in the English language.

Used to express something that’s already happened (as in ‘I really should have passed up that second helping of sticky date pudding’), the word ‘should’ expresses useless regret for something that can’t be changed.

Used to describe the future, it moves into positively dangerous territory. It expresses doubt (that something that ‘should’ happen, but probably won’t); places a burden on the reader (who ‘should’ do something they may not really want to do); or shows that the writer isn’t yet convinced of their own argument (and therefore has little hope of convincing the reader).

That’s because the words ‘could’, ‘would’ and ‘should’ immediately invite the reader to treat the subject as a suggestion or a possibility, but not a fact. (Consider ‘our program could increase your sales by 30%’ vs. ‘our program will increase your sales by 30%.’ Which has you signing on the dotted line today?)

No one wants to help a buyer raise extra objections. They come up with plenty on their own.

Strong and positive (but not overconfident) language is a key ingredient of a winning proposal.

Robyn Haydon, Principal Consultant of Winning Words, is a proposal strategist and writer and the author of The Shredder Test – the Australian guide to writing winning proposals. 

Office (03) 9557 4585
E-mail robyn@winningwords.com.au  

www.winningwords.com.au